State of Emergency

Just a random musing of mine.

Sitting in the train by myself this morning, I thought to myself, I have been sitting in here for nearly six years. Each morning just following the same routine and entering the fourth last door. Some mornings there are a lot of people, some mornings there are no people. It makes me laugh a little to know how many changes had taken place. There were people whom used to catch the train with me like Tina and Katie. But in the end, it's just me and the fourth last door of the train. I find it quite funny to know that I am still stuck in the same place whereas everyone has moved on.

But please remember, I've always been there, in the exact same place. It's just you that has chosen to move on.

After receiving the notification for my Biology assessment, I just realised how little time I have for things now. After reading Sarah's English essay, I felt like I had so much more work to do and yet I only have two days left. But thinking about it just gives me a headache. Oh gosh, I'm such a whiner sometimes.

Everything is just building up. Everything. But I will be able to hold them back. I am not going to let them reappear again and take over my life like they did before.

I think it's just the cold weather that's messing with my brain. I just need to get through this year. A few more months and it'd be over. I also found something quite amusing. Sonia and Annie told me that Dalmatian's new song was good but I never found the time to download it and listen to it. Despite watching a MV of half naked men, I was like meh. I've never found these sexual representation of men particularly pleasing. However, there was a particular line that caught my attention. This morning in class I searched up the lyrics and it somewhat matched the little musing of mine. Hehehee pretty interesting aye?

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cysDfuTFh4Q&w=640&h=480]

I need help! I need somebody right now! It’s not breathing! I don’t know what to do! I need help!

My coldly cast away heart is trapped in a black tunnel
Where do I have to go? I’m paused at this signal
As if my heart stopped, my left side hurts so much
I’m hurt as if I’ve been coldly and sharply pierced

The cold wind wraps around me
My body and heart, exhausted from yearning, whispers
I’ll be waiting, I’ll be there
At that place, I’ll be there
This pain, these stinging tears, I can hold it all back

Just like now, I’ll be waiting for you here, where you’re not present

Bulletproof

I feel so unmotivated these past few days. I feel like I'm passing each day just for the sake of passing each day. I have English exam on Friday, dance performance on Saturday, Physics excursion on Monday, Physics presentation on Wednesday and three maths exams coming and yet I feel so sense of panic and I have no motivation to prepare for any of it. It's even more funny how I'm typing up this post in attempts to escape from the reality that I have to do some studying for English. I don't even know what's wrong with me. I see some of my friends being so motivated, spending hours writing up notes and I'm just slugging out on the couch with my laptop.

But I really feel tired.

I don't even know why. Last night I stayed up till 2AM and thinking back, I have no idea what I was doing. Walking to school I really didn't feel like talking. I just wanted to listen to my music and hide under my scarf. Things also got quite serious during English where we were presented with an overview of the next module. Kill me now. It sounds so hard and I really feel like a lot of work is to be done for it. I was studying for Chemistry module exam and I just fell asleep. It didn't make me feel better knowing that I wasn't even half way through the chapter and I had an exam in less than an hour's time. Walking to the train station was somewhat peaceful. I actually quite enjoy walking by myself these days especially when I have my music with me.

Great, I'm starting to feel sleepy. My eyelids are feeling heavy and yet I still have to get through two more poems tonight. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I know I need to do it, I need to do it. But I can never bring myself to do it. Sigh. I really need motivation, something to work towards. Right now, with no goal I just feel like I'm forcing myself to pass the day and that's it. So lifeless...so dead.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nhq5z1ce14&w=640&h=360]

"I wish I had a bulletproof soul..."

Into Your World

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8j3OYAxmGso]

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UT7S4quHlrQ]

好像什麼都不懂的一個孩子一樣純真
重生那個美麗的瞬間
雙眼閉上又睜開 害怕這一切只是夢
留戀 我就真誠站在你面前 渴望得到你視線
只是想和你一起走 兩個人用同樣的步調協奏
一次就足夠

當我乘坐著風 在你的世界降落
白色的風 在你身邊環繞著
你問我來自哪裡 笑著回答是秘密
只要是你和我一起走下去
天堂在隨時和隨地

미카엘 보다 넌 나에게 눈부신 존재
You are an eye-blinding entity compared to Michael
감히 누가 너를 거역해 내가 용서를 안 해
Who can ever oppose you, I won't forgive anyone who does so
에덴 그 곳에 발을 들인 태초의 그 처럼 매일
Just like the first person to step into Eden
너 하나만 향하며 마음으로 믿으며
I will only go to you and trust you with my heart everyday

아주 작은 것이라도 널 힘들게 하지 못하게 항상 지키고 싶어
I want to always protect you
So that even the smallest things won't tire you out,
So that you won't ever have to suffer

너의 수호자로 저 거센 바람을 막고
As your guardian angel
I will block out the strong wind
네 편으로 모두 다 등을 돌려도
Even if everyone turns their back against you
힘에 겨운 어느 날 네 눈물을 닦아 줄
On hard days, I will wipe away your tears
그런 한 사람 될 수 있다면
If only I can be that kind of person
어디든 천국일테니
Wherever we go, it will be heaven

愛上你的我 在也沒有地方可回頭
翅膀已經不再擁有
永恆的生命被奪走 Oh no
可我依然感覺幸福唯一的理由
因為我的永恆現在就是你 Eternal love

너의 세상으로 여린 바람을 타고
Into your world
I ride the delicate wind to your side
네 곁으로 어디에서 왔냐고
You asked innocently where I came from
해맑게 묻는 네게 비밀이라 말했어
Smiling, I answered it was a secret
마냥 이대로 함께 걸으면
Because if we just walk together like this
어디든 천국일테니
Wherever we go, it will be heaven

I really didn't want to include the translations for the Korean version because most of them were poorly done (but I had to because I'm not Korean). I'm assuming the Korean version would be similar to the Chinese version but most of the translations didn't sound quite right. Sigh.

This song is...(I would say beautiful but I think I kind of overuse that word a little bit but you can't blame me, so many things are beautiful in life) divine. I first heard this song in Korean and initially I was like 'meh..." even though it was ballad. Then I went to listen to the Chinese version and I just totally gave in to it. The lyrics are so heavenly. I really like Luhan's voice in the Chinese version, it was really smooth and pure which totally matched the feeling of the song. But overall, I think this song is specially made for Suho. Other than the fact that his name is mentioned in the song (Suho also means guardian), the way he sang his line "On hard days, I will wipe away your tears" was really special to me. Baekhyun's voice during the showcase live also killed me especially the manner in which he said Michael. Is it me, or is it much more sexier when English derived Korean words are pronounced in Korean. Hm...maybe it's just me.

There were also some biblical allusions in the song.

Micheal, referring to the archangel from the bible, means "who is like God." In the song "You are more dazzling than Micheal" can mean that she (whomever the song is about) is dazzling in a godly way.
"Just like the first person to step on Eden" This does refer to the Garden of Eden, but the reference is more about purity. His love is so pure: "I will only go to you and trust you with my heart everyday" (cr:ACDanceGroup)

Not much of a English fan, but the way 'Eden' and 'Michael' are pronounced sounds so pleasing to the ear. I have listened to this song (the Chinese version more) so many times yet it still sounds so heavenly each time I hear it. And to be honest, I teared up quite a fair bit of times because of the lyrics. WHY CAN'T MY OPPAS AND GEGES BE MY ANGEL AND STAY BY MY SIDE FOREVER Jokes, but seriously, I really love this song.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUT_TSOCqDg&w=640&h=360]
Even the piano cover is so beautiful /sobs

Into Your World

The Little Mermaid

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNH_-AULu-8&w=640&h=360]

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI5SDDH2Cvs&w=640&h=360]

The Little Mermaid (1837) is one that people are not so familiar with. When the Little Mermaid turns 15, she falls in love with a Prince. She asks the Sea Witch to give her legs in exchange for her tongue. She leaves the water in hopes of getting married with the Prince. But this does not happen and the Prince decides to marry another lady. However, if The Little Mermaid kills the Prince with the knife, she will be able to become a mermaid again. But when she stands in front of his bed, she couldn't bear to do so. When the sun rises, the Little Mermaid's body dissolves into foam and disappears into the sea.

In the song Baby Don't Cry, the Prince doesn't sleep. Instead he wakes up and asks her to kill him. "Don't hesitate, please take my heart. Love is a kind of light winkling. It is a mercy to close my eyes in the moonlight. Suppose me as a stranger, or fancy yourself actor. What we say are just lines of an opera. Baby don't cry tonight. When the dawn lights the skies, it will be as if nothing ever happened. You will never dissolve into foam for my love is with you forever. So baby don't cry."

I can't get over how beautiful this song is. I have really come to like this song a lot more after realising the story behind the lyrics and it has definitely allowed me to appreciate this version of The Little Mermaid. Although the Disney one is more well known, I really like this original version of the story. It was about love, but it showed that all stories end well, and not all endings are happily ever after. In the end The Little Mermaid turns into a spirit and is given the chance to gain an eternal soul. It was not a happy ending, nor was it a sad ending. It is an ending that pulls at your heartstrings and makes you wonder how something so beautifully heartbreaking can exist. Yet this song makes you wonder, what if the Prince had really awaken and said those words to The Little Mermaid. What would have happened? Each time I listen to this song, I just imagine the scene - the Prince pleading for The Little Mermaid to take this heart whilst she listens to him with eyes begging for him to stop. But it pains me even more to realise that in the end, The Prince did not actually wake up, and all the pain and tragedy was only felt by The Little Mermaid herself. Sigh, I'm such a loser when it comes to these things.